Take Your Damn Meds

take your damn meds

Take Your Damn Meds” The words leapt off the page, as if just for me.

Reading these words stopped me in my tracks. I was reading Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed. A week before my doctor had very lovingly suggested it might be time for me to try daily medication for my anxiety. I had spent the next 7 days going back and fourth in my mind about taking the leap. The pills laid waiting for me, on my nightstand.

  • Can I handle the side affects?
  • What does it say about me, if I am on anti depressants?
  • I don’t like the idea of not being in control of my body.
  • What if they actually kill me.
  • Will I be on them for the rest of my life?

I just want to say that this post is in no way a “everyone should be on meds” post. It’s more of a smiling reassurance that if you have the feeling it might be time for that, I am here to say, you’ve got this, you are not alone, and these were my feelings at the time.

My already busy mind felt like it had just been fed rocket fuel. But the second my eyes glanced over that chapter title, they all vanished. Let me give you some context. I love a self help book. Anything psychology related, and I am in. I had recently discovered Glennon Doyle and was in awe of her. So imagine my dismay when I discover that this absolute babe, powerhouse lady was on the very medication I was considering taking. 

That night I took my first tablet.

I am a person who believes in signs, and fuck me, this was a big one. Over the next few pages she effortlessly explained her life, before meds, and now on them. She explained the days where she convinced herself she didn’t need them, only to be suffering massively days later. It was like reading pages from my own journal. She spoke of the days where, in her depression she would write notes to her future self, (incase she was feeling better) to give to her doctor. This was something that I had found myself struggling with just days before, my inability to communicate my struggles, when I was no longer deep within them, days later.

She went on to explain that she keeps those notes from the bad times to read when she thinks she no longer needs the meds. At the time I couldn’t imagine ever forgetting how bad those days are, but you do. So now I keep a note of them, and I have become even more appreciative of every day that passes without debilitating anxiety.

 

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